'spectal view

Look closely
What do u see?
What's the first thought that pops up
At the very mention of me?
Can you point out my faults
With the naked eye?
Can you feel my pain?
Would it make you cry?

Here are my shoes
Try 'em on
See where I've been
Look at what I've become
I dare you...to get to know...me
The real me, not the person everybody sees

Is it really worth it?
Or has ur interest gotten entangled with the breeze?
...lost...
...forever
Much like I feel sometimes
Alone...
Can u hear it in my voice?
Do u understand my resolve?
Agree with the choices
...I've made...
...my bed
And like a disobedient child,
I stand in it
Cuz I'm headstrong like that

My life is like a jungle
And I'm The Lion in this bitch
That can't stop, won't stop nigga who won't back down until he's rich
My mother says my pride will kill me,
Do you?
Or is it you that kill me every time u remind me of the things you do?

I've got a big heart
Will u listen its rhythmic beats?
Does the music of my heart make you wanna break dance in the middle of the street?
See I keep it strapped to my sleeve,
It's my ipod
It's really sad that when I look in the mirror,
I no longer see the image of God

Will I ever return like the prodigal?
...will I be forgiven?
If you knew all my secrets,
Would you console me or insist I be disciplined?
Punished for my sins
...for my actions
...for my thoughts
Now use my eyes to look at you?
Is it awkward?
It aint easy being me
But if u wanna keep up...wanna battle me nigga?
Put your best foot forward

Kavon McKenzie
Copyright 2010

a rainy day

I caught myself staring
gazing at dark, burgundy curtains that protect me
screening the eyes of the neighbour and his girl,
and from the blinding lights of the outside world.
At the same, inspiring me to stay in bed all day
be lazy, reflect.... *sigh*
can't really help lying here listening to the rain.
Days like these make me appreciate things more
the simpler, finer things in life
slowing my heart rate
taking time out from the fast pace
clear my head


Kavon McKenzie
Copyright 2010

ration

Every time I fall in love
Her name is written on my heart
And every time my heart breaks,
I search through the rubble for the biggest part.
That piece now belongs to her and no one can claim it
I'll always love her
Nothing or no one can change that
That's testament that my love is true
but I gotta gather the pieces that scattered
I gotta build, I gotta move on
I love you but it doesn't mean we're meant to be together


Kavon McKenzie
Copyright 2010

seeking atonement

Standing in the shower
Water running down my body
Running down my head
Concealing the tears streaming down my face
How did I get here?
How do I stop this pain?
I broke her heart
Broke my word
Promises to make u happy
Promises that I would never hurt you
But here I am in the shower
Washing away the pieces of my heart down the drain
Can't even stop crying long enough to see past my eyelids
Nothing I ever said will have the same effect
I know this
This is my sentence
I have to live with it
Just hope the words "I'm sorry"
Make it through the walls which confine me
And make it to your heart
I pray you will forgive me one day


Kavon McKenzie
Copyright 2010

love unrequited

She hardly ever smiles
But it pleased me the few times she did
And so, I volunteered to make her happy
She didn't send out a RFP, I was self appointed
I grew more fond of her as time went by
And the closer we got
Soon after I realised, I thought about her more often than not
Like a crack addict, I'm hooked
I love me some her
so hard to focus, impatiently waiting for yet another moment together
Now I'm stuck in a rut, drowning in you
And you're saying you gotta let me go
But how do I strip myself from myself
You've become more a part of me than u know
Do I really have to?
Is there really no other way?
Any way we can just be?
I know I can make you happy
Yet she still insists...
And my heart breaks
Crumbling like the buildings after Haiti's earthquake



Kavon McKenzie
Copyright 2010