I set fire to the bridges behind me

Not only to light the way forward

But to take away the option 

Of returning a coward

Coward, for not discovering

The unfamiliar paths laid before me

Coward, because I am terrified

Of this uncertain journey

This... this is my motivation

To push forward

...demand more

So with this great leap of faith

I will discover what the world has in store

...for me

Kavon McKenzie Copyright November 13, 2012

Pain


Imagine stepping barefoot on broken glass
And wanting to cry out in pain
But can't
That shrill scream suppressed
Yet reflected through the grimace on your face
Evidence that the pain is unbearable
Shining from your eyes
And yet you refuse to cry
Not that you don't want to
But tears just won't fall
Not that you don't need help
But who can you call
Who's willing to listen?
They all said they'd be there
When you need them
They're missin'
You learnt your lesson
From the cruel teacher called life
Though everyone's taking shot's at you
You keep running down the road
With all your might
With all your pride
With all your fears
You done put up so many walls over the years
Creatively finding ways to depend on no one but yourself
Trusting God only
fuck everyone else


Kavon McKenzie Copyright July 27, 2012

Alone

I understand
I do
I know
how important this is to you
I am trying the best I can
But I...
can't...
remember my password
There you are
Surrendering access to me
And I know you must feel awkward
We're getting to know each other
And I sit here...
clammed up
Like an introvert
But I...
Can't...
Escape this
In this age of technology
With firewalls and cryptology
so accustomed to these cages
That I hide the keys
And sit here behind bars
Safe from harm
Covering up my scars
because I...
Refuse...
To be hurt again
I want to believe you
I do
These cold, mildewed walls
Provide security
The need for self preservation
Won't allow anyone the liberty
Of coming and going as they please
So please,
Be at ease
Knowing that in here...
I'm at peace
And I...
Am...
Ok with being alone

Kavon McKenzie
April 25,2012 Copyright 2012

why I write

People ask me why I write
All the time
My answers have pretty much
Always been the same
It's something that I love
Or therapy
For all who read my writing
Not just for me
But I never tell
The flip side
The part where
It kills me
With every word,
I die
The torture I go through
Putting it all on paper
You see, I don't just write,
I get into character
And I cry, I bleed
I suffer
Even pain that's not my own,
I FEEL
Ten times over
Few times, I smile
But for me, it's hard to capture...
happy
It's bland, dry
Uninspiring
But give me anguish
And words pour out
Look at all the Psychiatrists
Taking their business cards out
Strange enough,
I feel like that's my purpose
I mean, how fucked up is that?
That shit's crazy right?
For some, I'm the one that's crazy
And maybe,
Maybe you are right in your assumptions
but if my words are like acupuncture
For a wounded soul
Then I have fulfilled my purpose
Have you?


Kavon McKenzie February 6 - Copyright 2012

Apology

Sometimes words heat the temper
And like magma it boils
Like salt in a wound
Digs deep like in search of oil
Sometimes words fail to materialize thoughts as masterfully as they're created
Talking out of turn
Sometimes it's better if you waited
Point is, I'm sorry
I never meant to hurt your beautiful heart
And if you'd give me one more chance
I promise to be smart about it

Kavon McKenzie Feb 4 - Copyright 2012

Be still and know...

I challenged myself...
to just lay here.
To just close my eyes,
numb my feelings
drown out the noise raping my ears

A tedious task
since dogs were vocally marking territory,
crickets chirping Beethoven's symphony,
the fan whirring mechanically
I can even hear my heart beating

Ever so often,
almost frightened, it would leap
as roaring engines, blaring horns and radios
announce cars racing down the street
as if the sound of wet tyres
splashing what remains
of the sporadic rain wasn't enough

That's when it hit me
like water to the face
of someone sleeping or in a gaze
This...
this is what my mind goes through daily

All the chaos that goes on outside
engineers a Daedalus-like maze within
and even I cant escape
Trapped on the highland
in the middle of a thoroughfare
of thoughts, voices...
decisions to be made.
Mistakes reincarnated,
haunting my present.

This...
this is why I need to be still.
close my eyes
Relax
clear my mind
focus on nothing
...do nothing
Just
Be
Still



January 3. Kavon McKenzie Copyright 2012