let me first give a brief background to the idea of this post. This was a post made on twitter and it started a convo. It was said that, "Women have gotten easy and men have gotten lazy".
From as far back as the beginning of time, men have successfully let their egos lead them to do things that they regret, sometimes for the rest of their lives. As a result, any action that compromises the safety of said ego, is immediately dismissed as blasphemy. Pause, this is a huge misrepresentation of the real men that still live and exist in this world that we live in today, but let's go along with the masses to prove a point. I bet all the feminists were pumping their fists like they were at some rally. *smh*
Every time a man messes up and he admits that he was wrong, he runs to the jewelery store or the flower shop. He either buys her something expensive, sends her flowers at work so that everyone will "awww, that's so sweet" and ride her to forgive him or he takes her to that one special place she always wanted him to take her. This is an attempt to speed up the "make-up" process and get him back in her good graces. This method has been tried and proven time and time again...look at Kobe....lol. It's nothing new. Maybe we're just catching on.
Now, for argument's sake, if my ego doesn't allow me to grovel at your feet and I know of a method that works, why the hell wouldn't I use it. If it works in a relationship, what are the odds it wouldn't work outside of one? Let's see, women like to be pampered with all the finest things in life. Not saying that women are totally vain...and yes, I said totally. Come on, you know that's definitely a way to your hearts, be a good hospital and admit it.
You catch my eye and I now have to prove to you that I want you and I am a good man for you by jumping through hoops and taming lions. Sometimes oonu done a pree already and want tango, so why? We know where we are and where we wanna be. We skip the chase and get straight to the point, you want a life of comfort and luxury, I can give that to you, what's that? you need proof? Bam!!! Shopping spree. Bam!!! mani and pedi. Now here's where the woman-version of an ego chips in, "ooohhh girl, he really loves you, you should...". Here we see that maybe, you're not the "easy" one, oh but your friends are!! And your friends influence you like our ego plays us.
From I was a child, I kept hearing, "yuh cyaa carry dat go supermarket!". Our society made us vain and so we show more appreciation for the more physical things in life, things that are seemingly more rewarding at the time. It mek sense, doan? At least, yuh have suppem fi show when it's all said and done. Our values have indeed crumbled like the buildings in Haiti after the earthquake but hey, you don't have to be a part of that. In addition, our fear for getting hurt has made us all crawl back into our shells where we spend our lives in fear. We keep it strictly physical, no one gets hurt. No harm, no foul.
So in essence, some men are lazy, some women are easy. But I'm a broke nigga, I got to put in work the conventional way - long conversations (sometimes about nothing), making her smile, hanging out together etc. Men who are willing to work for what they want still exist and they still try every day. Usually it's with a woman they feel is worth it, after all we weren't designed to whip out our emotions like that. (yes we more frequently whip out other things..blah blah blah). Real men respect women whom he doesn't consider to be easy. And that's the true definition of a wifey, it's not because you walk out like Liquid said.
Kavon McKenzie Copyright 2010
