I listen to songs that talk about how great life is and how money makes their worlds so much better. Then there are those who are drowning in despair, violence and poverty. These songs provide inspiration, comfort or even just to let me know that things could be worse.
I wake up daily and go through my usual routine. Things change so much around me that as sad as it sounds, I've gotten dependent on that constant to give me some stability. Others are of the opinion that it's not healthy but it keeps me "grounded".
I stayed up all night/morning wondering why people's views change, why one's word means nothing anymore, why does one's emotions toss and turn like the rough sea, why me, why not me?
After hours upon hours, I didn't find satisfaction in the answers I summised. So here I am, tired...frustrated...hurt...disappointed...concerned.
I also noticed something else, I'm think I've evolved. Not sure whether it's for the better or worse. No one seems to be pleased with who I am or who I've become. I hear the constant groans of disgust, disdain, disappointment, disrespect
Unsure of my direction, I step out into an uncertain world. My life means nothing to me anymore. I feel nothing. No longer wanna be something. I'm a zombie trodding on a journey that doesn't seem to be my own. This is just me taking some time to catch my breath, as I look on to the horizon
--written November 19, 2008
Kavon McKenzie Copyright 2010
